jame7t:

cryptotheism:

jame7t:

man if I saw an elf nobody would be able to stop me

From what

nobody would be able to stop me

(via breadwarlock)

haunthouse:

haunthouse:

thanks @bmoharrisbankofficial but unfortunately i can’t focus on the very important message here because i’m too busy being confused by the fact that apparently if you send an ask with only one letter tumblr will bold that letter in the “asked you” notification text?? why the fuck would that be the case

fascinating

(via iwillstaywiththemforever)

peoplegettingkindamadatfood:

(via moshroom)

xekstrin:

RE: talking to conservative parents, I’ve found a good method to de-worming their brains is to not get riled up, just act a little bored and remind them “the news cycle only shows salacious stuff. They want you to be mad and scared because it makes you easier to control. Think about it for a second. Do you REALLY believe everything they have to say?” Or “you can’t believe everything you read or see on the internet. Remember, they earn money every time you click on their video.”

And especially when my dad starts getting huffy about Prices or Artists He Doesn’t Like, I tell him “that’s the beauty of capitalism. they have a product to sell and the freedom of expression if you don’t like it you don’t have to buy it.”

Might not work for everyone but dad’s KRYPTONITE especially is saying “but dad that’s capitalism! You LOVE capitalism!” And he either has to stop complaining or admit capitalism is bad and so far I haven’t lost

(via eatmystardustloser)

theprofessional-amateur:

That really is it.

(via sorrelchestnut)

shitfacealecsofty:

(via sorrelchestnut)

weaver-z:

weaver-z:

weaver-z:

By far the funniest transition timelines are the ones from trans men where the “before” picture is some teeny little guy with sad baby seal eyes and the “after” picture looks like Kratos

This is one of the top posts in r/transtimelines and it really sums up what I’m talking about

My irl saw this post and sent me this even crazier transformation today! The little guy to Kratos pipeline is real!!!

(via idrils)

sygol:

kitten, mommy accidently got “wizard high” and is now lost in the astral realm, im so sorry, we’re gonna have to call off the e-sex rp, i cant find your soul amongst the gnashing teeth of fate

(via moshroom)

tchaikovskaya:

(via galaxia-prince)

normal-ghost:

normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:

[OPENS FRIDGE, REMOVES TUPPERWARE CONTAINER LABELLED “Pomegranates from land of dead do not eat”]

[I REMOVE A SECOND CONTAINER LABELLED “Fairy apples do not eat (Autumn Court)]

[I APPROACH THE BLENDER]

my beloved mutual, were you aware that you’re the funniest person on the planet?

(via galaxia-prince)

honeybaked-ham:

nanzyn:

nanzyn:

hikarigolden:

omghotmemes:

A tale in 4 parts

Wait there’s a follow up

im sorry but you guys are so far behind

okay wait i went back and screenshotted some (most?) of the good ones that were like on the main plot here so you all saw the top posts with the Irish Stegosaurus well that evolved into

also kind of unrelated but because of this stupid subreddit im actually not as bad at identifying flags

anyways sorry for the long post i just really loved this whole thing

@scootbloop

(via so-i-did-this-thing)

saint-official:

suinicide:

saint-official:

Just commited a crime. God I love killing people for money

Hey you shouldn’t do that. You should be killing people because you enjoy it, not to play the part of a capitalist cog

You’re so right, I’m such a buffoon

(via idrils)

medievaljournalist:

kicked out of another chess club for repeatedly sneaking my new piece ‘the warlock’ onto the board

(via breadwarlock)

m86:

kawaiigod:

sex in the shower? no. slip and bust my ass. break my dick. she slippin too. she knock her head on the tile she passed out. bleedin. i cant walk cause my jimmy snapped. thought this was gonna be sexy and we both end up half dead.

this is my favorite post of all times every single time I slip on anything I picture this post it literally changed my life there’s no other definition to it

(via idrils)

joey-wheeler-official:

cornerfolks:

hajimedics:

powerburial:

i hate when youtube food reviewers take a bite out of a burger and hold it right up to the camera where they took a bite. like thanks, looks disgusting, what are you gonna show me next? A Man’s Asshole?

hey that’s the guy who had a legitimate full mental breakdown because people said aging and dying was natural and he insisted saying that was tantamount to supporting genocide and him and weren’t meant to age or die. the fursona guy. that’s him

It’s all “keep tumblr weird” until a real weirdo shows up I see

(via breadwarlock)